If you invite me to a party please make sure to have a cat or dog present so I have someone to hang out with.
excuse you 2013 how are we 50% done already
the year is only 41.64% done did u fuckin fail maths or something
i did well enough to know that i am 100% done with you
why does sex have to result in babies why cant it result in pizza
“push, Helen! push!” she gives the last of her energy, and she hears it
the soft, tender sizzle of a freshly baked pizza
the doctor holds it up by the crust, carefully snipping off the little plastic table
“it’s a deep dish!”
what the hell is wrong with this website
We like pizza and not babies.
I hate it when you are having a bad day and everyone takes it personally, like no i hate myself, not you. get the fuck over yourself.
wow i’m actually so glad this post as been made
my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life
one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
15 amazing things in nature you won’t believe actually exist
if you stare at me in public my self esteem will drop 100%
kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea